I have acquired many specialized skills (so specialized that they will never apply to a job I could get paid for, ever) since becoming a mother. I can change sheets half asleep in the middle of the night while a small pee covered child hangs on my leg in less than two minutes. I can tell the difference between chewed up banana mashed into the rug and actual snot at three paces (my eyesight is exceptional, feel free to oh and ah now). I can eat a meal one handed while breast feeding a child without showing a single nipple. I can care for, as in feed and keep clean, a family of four with a full blown case of the flu. I am practically bionic.
As of four this morning, I realized that I have a new skill for which I have yet to pat myself on the back. I can sleep; dreams and everything, on a 10 inch precipice. If someone had a position available that required an employee to sleep on a ledge above a freeway; they could count on me to get the job done. Tennessee likes to rise before the rooster crows and do a patrol of the stairs. Then his feet are cold, so he climbs into bed with me and kicks his flappy little paws around until he falls back to sleep. I put Tennessee in between his dad and me and put a pillow in between the wriggling boy and me. This is referred to as the Pillow Wall. It prevents kicks to the guts and bladder. After that, I make myself cozy on what is left of the bed; about 10 inches. I tuck my left arm under my bottom and tense up real good then go right back to sleep. I have an ongoing head and neck ache, but I haven’t fallen off yet. If there was such a thing and going pro in sleeping on skinny spots, pro I would go.
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