After a night of bed peeing and coughing (the kids not Kenneth) I needed a little extra time in bed this morning. Kenneth got up and wrangled the monkeys into breakfast and school clothes while I drooled on my pillow for another hour. I gained an hour of precious rest, but I lost my fifteen minutes of peace in the morning before I get Tennessee out of bed and begin taking orders. That bit of the day is when I usually, ahem, go to the bathroom. If you know what I mean.
I woke up just as Tennessee was asking for breakfast number three. I told him that I would fry up an egg and toast some bread, right after a trip to the bathroom. He followed me down the hall yelling, then busted through the bathroom door. I was in a compromising position, so I was defenseless against his tirade. He paced back in forth in front of the towel rack shaking his fists and demanding that I "go in that kitchen right now!"
At first I was too dazed to respond. Then, it occurred to me that he was being totally obnoxious. Not only was he yelling at me, but he and I have been discussing privacy lately. Privacy being his new favorite thing to yell about, as in "I need privacy from Lucy!" Followed by some door slamming and toddler cursing in the form of "Lucy is stinky" or "Lucy is a meany head face". Tennessee was not respecting my privacy at all. Man was I angry. I am getting angry all over again just typing this. When I am angry, I don't always make the best decisions, so I did my least favorite thing. I lectured...and lectured, and stomped around, and lectured some more.
Lecturing a little kid is the opposite of effective. I whenever I do it, I can hear the respect they have for me squeeeeeking out of their little bodies like a balloon being squeezed. Lecturing barely works on adults, let alone someone under the age of five who is in an honest to God lather over his lack of eggy breaky. But, I was mad, and thanks to the yelling, constipated. Not a good morning. Maybe the worst morning of 2010. From this day forward, I will either wake up at 6:00 AM, or lock the damn door.
I'm still laughing over this entry. The image of him pacing back and forth in front of you, and "go in that kitchen right now!" is just too much.
Posted by: Chris Brandt | February 22, 2010 at 09:16 PM
It is funny now, but beleive you me, I was not laughing at the time. Not even a little.
Posted by: mothermayi | February 23, 2010 at 11:17 AM