Tennessee and I did a little yoga this morning, well I did yoga and he showed me all of the poses he could make up. Such as his "jumping" pose and "truck" pose. I promised that if he didn't crawl under me and try to stand up while I was in bridge pose that I would help him make a LEGO house. I finished my half assed work-out and followed him upstairs to erect a lovely barn style manse on the green, green grass colored particle board of his train table. After we had moved into the decorating faze of the project, I told him to play while I went to take a shower.
I barely got clean I showered so fast. I usually use the electric babysitter for showers as my kids are such slaves to The Tube that they don't move an inch from the sofa while Sponge Bob is doing his magic. He seemed pretty content to play on his own, and I really needed a shower. Five minutes later, I ran upstairs to check on the little guy. He was setting all of his little plastic animals and dinosaurs up around the house in what appeared to be some sort of mob violence a la fauna at first glance. He was in one piece and had stayed out of his sister room. (That is my new Waterloo, Tennessee and his sister's tiny special things of which she keeps remarkable track.)
We chatted about reptiles, whether or not snakes fart, and pickled beets for a minute, then I headed back down to make some lunch. Pb&j on the table, I called him down. He replied with a hearty "Five more minutes! I playin'!" I figured, what the heck and sat down to read the paper. A remarkable amount of the paper. More paper than I ever have time to read. It was too quiet. The most cliched kind of quiet.
I smelled nail polish before I got all the way upstairs. He had painted all the nails and toes and arches on both feet and was working on his left hand. A beautiful sparkly purple covered his fingers, his belly, the side of his nose and his cheek. Dry in 60 seconds! Drat and double damn! A rookie mistake on my part. I called poison control, which was good and bad. Good in that I now know that vegetable oil will take finger nail polish off skin (but not shirts or hardwood floors). Bad in that they asked for our names and zip code. I now have a bad parenting record. I hope it doesn't affect my credit.
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