I took Lucy to the Doctor for her 5 year check-up today. She is healthy as a horse, but I knew that. When we got out fo the car there was a terrible sound filling the air. The sound of a small child being being harmed terribly, or maybe just not getting his way. Sure enough a small boy and his mother came walking along the sidewalk. He grabbed at her pants and hung off her coat, howling as though she had just poked him in both eyes at once. His mother did her very best to walk down the street, trying not to trip over her frothing flopping son. She had a smile plastered on her face and I over-heard her calmly say, "You can walk, you are a big boy." This only made the little guy flop his head back and howl louder.
They had already made it through the adult waiting area of the clinic and up the stairs by the time Lucy and I arrived, but I heard his protesting echo in the elevator shaft. A middle aged woman said to another woman, "poor little guy". I wanted to glare and say "My Ass! Poor little guy! that woman deserves a mother of the year sash and tiara for remaining calm!" I didn't, but I wanted to.
I waited in line to check in behind Mr. Yelly McScreamy Pants. I smiled at his mom. I wanted to do more to let her know that I am proud of her for standing her ground. Standing up to a three year year old child (I am a fairly good judge of age of the under five set, beyond that, my accuracy goes down hill.) is so hard. The old "carry me!" routine is the most tiring and often the most embarrassing because it usually happens in public. Before you judge me cold and cruel for believing that the little guy should carry himself around, think about this; the average three year old boy ranges between 30 and 40 lbs. that is a good amount to haul, especially if you are also carrying a bag of groceries, a purse laden with snacks, baby wipes, and emergency pants. There is a good chance that the mother of a three year old is also carrying a toy or two that the little person insisted on bringing along and promised to carry. This brings the total up weight up near 100 lbs. In these days of people delaying childbearing, it is not uncommon for a person over 35 to have a three year old. A 35 year old spine will likely disintegrateunder the weight of 100 lbs, or at least require immediate chiropractic care.
Having a small child scream at your feet is hard to deal with. If you happen to be in public when this happens, the horror compounds. Not only are you being hollered at by the one you love most, there are usually a few strangers around to glare and judge you. I propose a new universally recognizable hand signal, that remains to be created, that tells the parent of a publicly flopping child "I feel for you, good job standing your ground". There have been many days when I could have really used a little rooting rather than the stink eye. I am open to suggestions.
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